The Weekly Bugle: Into the weeds of the surfing week that was

Nic Cage and Hollywood take on surfing, I'm a Core Lord, Rob Page, Raglan and wise words from Wayne Lynch.

Nic Cage Takes On Aussie Locals in The Surfer 

Cage, goes full Cage in The Surfer.

“Before you can surf you must suffer,” is one of the quotes from the new Nic Cage film The Surfer. Set in Western Australia, Cage is an office drone who must suffer the machismo of an Australian coastal town in a low-budget thriller about a would-be big wave rider. The movie, in one write-up, “crash-lands at the Cannes film festival like a wild-eyed, brawling drunk.”

Now Hollywood tends to make three types of films. A minuscule percentage that are so good they are good (Big Wednesday, Surf’s Up and, uhm that’s about it). The overwhelming majority that are so bad they are just bad. And then there is the holy grail; the surf films so bad, they are actually good (eg In God’s Hands, North Shore). The Surfer might just fall into the first category. The Guardian, whose judgment I trust more than any other media outlet, called it “a low-budget, hard-hitting comic bruiser of a picture: a midlife-crisis movie dressed up as a 1970s exploitation flick.” Yes please. 

I’m A Swellian Core Lord: Yeah, You Heard Right

If you can’t blow your own trumpet on your own bugle, where the fuck can you blow it? Said no one ever. In any case, I hassled my old mucker Jed Smith to feature in the latest Ain’t That Swell Podcast. I liked his bio which said, “Mondy was a writer for Tracks Magazine during the Kelly/Andy years and travelled the world reporting on systemic degeneracy amidst the elite surfing community, of which he was a repeat offender.” It contains all my hits including dacking Guy Sebastian, being dacked by Mick Fanning, passing on Andy Iron’s iconic line “take the champagne off ice” to Kelly Slater.  Oh, and I talk about my Breitling Book of Surfing. A lot.

I’ve only had one review. Paul Evans said, “I can’t help but feel Jed falls into the same category as Matt Barr never quite getting the best out of Cunthorpe. Like Sven Erickson managing Paul Scholes.” I disagreed with his English football analogy. I thought Jed did well with the limited material he had to work with. And I’m now a Core Lord. Yeah, you heard right. 

Robbie Page: Lightening In A Bottle

I came across this new movie trailer titled Walkabout involving Robbie Page. Pagey was a pro surfer, North Shore star, big wave charger and Pipe Master, who has to be one of the wildest, wittiest, weirdest surfers of all time. From doing solitary confinement in a Japanese prison to dating the French President’s granddaughter, his truth is way, way weirder than any surf fiction. 

In this film, his French mate Arnaud Mestelan, “surprises Page at the National Indigenous Surfing Titles at Bells Beach and together, they embark on a new road trip, in search of waves, community and connection to Country.” If, and it’s big if, they’ve caught the lightning in the bottle that is Pagey, it has to be worth a look.

Firing Raglan

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Not much more to say, except if there is a better sight in surfing than a reeling lefthand point, I'll eat my reg grundies. Here NZ’s Raglan turns on the magic. 

Winners Aren’t Always Contributors

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I’ve banged on far too much about my home town hero Col Smith, and the new biopic titled Channel Man. However, these words by the legend Wayne Lynch struck a chord. Whilst not exactly disparaging World Champions (he calls it a genuine achievement), his line “but winners aren’t always contributors” says a lot about where we as surf fans (mis)direct our adulation and recognition.