The Weekly Bugle: Do We Need To Talk About Kelly?
Col Smith is Channel Man, Kirra pumps, Kelly dumps, foiling and surf comedy in this week's look into the weeds of the surfing world. Oh and wax cock and balls.
Channel Man
I grew up in Redhead, just south of Newcastle, NSW. It’s a small town with a giant red bluff, a historic shark tower and consistent waves. It’s produced a lot of good surfers, but a single truly great one. That was Col Smith. Even though he had moved to Western Australia when I started surfing, his presence was everywhere. All us groms rode eight-channel pintails, often in two-foot summer waves. In our town, he was a legend and a God. And then he died of cancer at the age of 31. Pipe Master, Rory Russell, once called Col “the most underrated surfer in the world.” There’s a new documentary out now on Col’s life titled Channel Man that explores the life of the wild-living goofy footer who had a profound influence on surfing in his short but colourful life. There are some screenings in Oz over the next few months, and hopefully more to come around the world soon.
Gold Coast FOMO
Still in Oz, the swell has been pumping on the Goldy, clogging surfers’ asses with sand and everyone's social feeds with aquamarine green cylinders. Parko got one of the waves of the week on a 6’6” single fin channel bottom (Col would have approved), but it was this video of Asher Pacey and this image of Lincoln Taylor by Swilly that had the FOMO meter to go from excruciatingly painful to a stab to the throat. And one last question. Has anyone ridden more waves, more stylishly than Ash?
Do We Need To Talk About Kelly?
I’m in Peniche, Portugal. The CT event has been an extended water torture with just two days of really fun waves, and all the rest blighted by uncontestable conditions at Supertubos. Tomorrow is the last day of the waiting period, and it will finish no matter what. On the plus side, there’s a new swell coming. On the negative side, as all the surfers waited it out, footage appeared of Kelly Slater surfing perfect Kirra, having pulled out of the Portugal event due to injury. “That’s where he deserves to be,” said CT commentator and good mate Strider Waselewski. “Not grinding it out for a 6.5 in contestable surf. Personally I don’t want to watch him strain himself for a good score, rather see him surf timelessly in perfection like this.” A fair point, though it neglects to mention that Kelly was given a wildcard spot for all the events in 2024 at the expense of other surfers who would give their left arm to be on the CT. Does his legacy mean special dispensation is always a given? Or is that legacy now being bruised every time he does, or doesn't compete?
The Art Of Foil
Same swell, but a very different approach from Mr Bennetts. I don’t foil, but I can’t get enough of Bennetts and his life on the glide. From around 2010 Bennetts had spent a decade making a living as a pro surfer based in Bali and the Gold Coast. In March 2019 he had his first go on his brother’s foil and ordered his own set up the next day. He hasn’t set foot on a surfboard since. Perfecting the technique that was pioneered by the inventor of the telephone Alexander Graham-Bell in the 1920s (fun fact!), few make it look so easy. “It’s a really cool era to be involved in because it’s getting exponentially bigger every week,” Bennetts told the Surf Bugle. “It’s a feeling like no other on the ocean. And we are only just getting started.”
Surfing and Humour
A new Channel Island surfboard skit had added to the, uhm, cannon that can loosely be called surf comedy. It had me thinking about surfing’s relationship with comedy; an often fraught and checkered dance, more drunk uncle at a wedding than Fred Astaire (one for the kids!) Endless Summer got it right, Taylor Steele often wrong and now it's the Raglan Surf Report and Green Room Times doing it best online.
Next Surf Bugle post will be a potted history of comedy and surfing, with the aim of not making it as funny as a turd in the lineup. See, it’s not easy is it? In the meantime, this CI skit featuring Dane Reynolds is one of the better attempts in recent years. Oh and to finish up, it there is Luke Cedarman's latest masterpiece and his use of a tiny wax cock and balls. And when isn’t that ever funny?
