The Friday Bugle: The Six Least Interesting People In Surfing
"Surfing is a powerful tool. And so am I."
I’ve read with interest another few lists that came out this week in the surf media. The venerable surf mag Surfing World has its latest issue dedicated to the 50 Most Interesting People in Surfing. I must have missed the call from the Editor my old mate Sean Doherty. The Inertia also dropped a list of 10 of the most influential surf spots in the world. You know there may be selection issues when the first comment is done by Kelly Slater and asks, “Who compiled this list?” Sam George was the answer.
Anyway, lists, like typos and barely-concealed misogyny, are a staple of surf journalism. After all my own Bugle piece “The Six Least Paid People in Surfing” was one of my most popular on the site. But we all can’t be the most interesting, paid, influential or underrated. And so with that in mind, what about the least interesting people in surfing? This is them.
Phillipe Navreau, Father and Surf Coach
I came close to being a professional, but let’s not talk about that. I mainly prefer to talk about my daughter. Everything in my life is geared around her surfing career. I mean I’m just doing it cause she loves the sport. I’ve told her that she’s loved it since she was three. And there’s no pressure from our end. It’s all cool. She just loves competing. I mean, both my wife and I have given up our jobs, and her current sponsor contracts pay the mortgage and because we are on the road, all our children are home-schooled, but it’s her passion. And she’s just 14, so who knows where it will go. But the plan is to have her CT qualified by 16. And World Champ by 18. But as I said, no pressure, as long as she’s happy.
Ben DeBreeze, The Reformer
I wasn’t that interesting as a surfer, though my talent deserved a much wider audience. What people didn’t realise was that I had an issue with alcohol and drugs, though being permanently pissed in the competitor's area might have been a giveaway. And all the stolen surfboards. It was when I lost alcohol, and found God, that I discovered who I truly was. Which unfortunately is a slightly less interesting version of the old me, but with a new crucifix necklace and better sleep patterns. Shall we talk about God?
Elise Maplethorpe-Sorenson, Corporate Speaker
I’ve parlayed my previous careers as a telemarketer and elite mini-golfer with my new-found love of surfing into what I like to call the journey. I then narrate this journey to my audience who can learn and grow from listening to my lessons. Look, it’s not about me, it's about using my experience and growth path to inspire, cultivate and motivate. To face fears and expand horizons. Surfing is a powerful tool. And so am I. You can follow me on LinkedIn.
Daz O’Toole, The Podcaster
The Surf Jiz podcast is all about celebrating the true characters in surfing and all board sports. Look, I’m just a conduit, a bridge or a platform for celebrating the action sports culture. I laugh because my best mates always said I loved the sound of my own voice, and now that’s my job. Well, full-time hobby really, but I have a dozen hardcore fans who love my mix of personal anecdotes, hot takes and interviews. I’m in discussions with a sock company for a potential partnership, and recently reached out to Victoria Vergara for episode 69! Classic pod bantz.
Olive Otterhope, Hot Logger
I think surfing’s focus on high performance is sometimes holding it back. I once did make it to the Regional Titles Longboarding Finals in the Under 16s, but realised that competitive surfing takes all the fun out of the lifestyle. Surfing should never, ever be judged. And with my modelling work and collaborations with brands that reflect my beliefs and love of bikinis, gym work and sustainability, I think I can have a more positive impact on making the world a better place by just surfing and being me. Whoops, gotta go, off to The Maldives for a bamboo swimwear shoot, ciao ciao. Call my agent if you want another interview!
Ted Bundy, Surfing List Writer
It’s not easy. These lists don’t write over themselves. The most underrated, influential, rich, and overrated surfers of all time. The best, worst, crowded and localised waves in Europe. The hairiest and horniest surfers on the Challenger Series. The cuntiest and cutest surfers on the CT. It takes real creativity to distil the wide diversity and vibrancy of the entire surf culture into a derivative list. And then when you hit rock bottom, when the combination of alcoholism, cynicism and a total lack of imagination smack hard, there is the last resort; satirising the very lists you created in the first place. And then asking people to not only read them, but pay for it. It really is a sad and tedious existence.